breakbeats
by Carmilla DeWinter
Summary: On the difficulties of being an Ex-Sith and an Ex-Jedi. Follows "Nothing remains the same", MaulxObi slash.


Disclaimer: I don't own Obi and Maul, therefore I'm not making money with this.

AN: This is just a little something I've had sitting on my computer for ages.

It will make absolutely no sense if you haven't read 'nothing remains the same' first.

* * *

Breakbeats

1: two months in

Obi-Wan surveyed the carnage in the narrow corridor.

"You killed them all," he stated. That wasn't what he'd had in mind when he'd first suggested this.

"They were pirates. It's an occupational hazard," Khameir pointed out, unimpressed by the body count. There wasn't even the slightest slither of unease or remorse from him, now that he had lowered his shields again.

"Yeah. But well, we're Force users. It wasn't necessary."

"They had it coming", Khameir said and looked at him, yellow eyes boring into his, willing him to understand.

This had not been about justice. It was just about odds. If Khameir hadn't killed them, they might have fallen prey to other pirates, bounty hunters or even a Patrol. If they had captured them, the next Republic planet probably wouldn't be so merciful, either. Thus, there had been no point in prolonging the inevitable.

Obi-Wan swallowed thickly. "I see. But you can't just kill someone because they'll probably be killed sometime later. What if you're wrong?"

"They were pirates," Khameir reiterated.

"And you were a Sith. We could have locked you in and thrown away the keys. Or, to stay in your line of thinking, since you then would have died as a prisoner, it wouldn't have mattered much when you died, so we could have executed you right away." It was fatalistic and wrong, and it was making him sick.

"Yes," Khameir said, unflinchingly. The surface of his mind was a deep red, quiet pool that offered only reflections. "But you're Jedi."

"And you're not. I know. But you can't just decide whether someone is worthy of a chance at redemption, and someone else is not."

"But that is what you did. Suppose I'd have mouthed off instead of keeping silent? Suppose I would have tried to escape from the Security?"

"But you didn't."

"No, I didn't. I was counting on your pity."

"Nice. Why?" The sickness was slowly receding, replaced by the slight tremble of anger.

Khameir shrugged. "I figured you'd lower your defenses eventually."

"And you even got the bonus of a fuck buddy."

Khameir tilted his head. _Obi-Wan…_ his mind voice reached out, but Obi-Wan shut it out.

"I don't want to hear it."

He locked himself into the spare cabin then and moved out at the next spaceport.

A week later, he commed the Falcon and begged Khameir to pick him up, because he couldn't quite remember what he'd been so angry about. He'd always known Khameir was an asshole.

* * *

2: seven months in

"Khameir!"

Obi-Wan hammered his fist against the door, more out of habit than from hope of actually achieving something.

_Leave me alone!_ the mental command echoed in his head.

"No, I won't."_ I know you're hurt, but please don't shut me out._

_What is it to you? You must have guessed something like this would happen, and yet you talked me into it._

Obi-Wan leaned his forehead against the cool gray metal_. I didn't. They never declared you dead, I figured they would be happy to see you. I only wanted to help._

_Fat load of help that was._

_I__know. I'm sorry._

_Fuck. Yeah. I know. _There was a bang as a fist hit the wall, and the air trembled with restrained rage.

_Khameir… please let me help you._

_I don't want your fucking help._

_Khameir…,_he tried to soothe.

_And don't fucking 'Khameir…' me__, either._ _Get out._

"What?"

"I said, get out. As in pack your stuff and leave me the fuck alone."

Obi-Wan stared at the door for an hour or so, and listened to the angry silence, before he did as told.

Two days later, Khameir found him in the run-down hotel near the spaceport and asked him to come back.

* * *

3: about one and a half years in

It wasn't clear which of them had steered whom out of the bar and into to dirty, dimly lit back alley.

"Did you have to scare that poor girl so?" Obi-Wan asked and crossed his arms. They'd given the patrons quite a show in there.

"Yes." Khameir bristled with orange anger. "She was remarkably dense."

"She was just flirting very enthusiastically."

"With you." Khameir gave him a small shove, making him retreat two steps. "And you were encouraging her."

"She was a bit down and I thought she could use it."

"You were leering," Khameir observed calmly, and his shields slid into place.

"Her boobs were nearly jumping into my face," Obi-Wan defended himself weakly. And dear gods, they had been extremely nice boobs. "And you know I was just looking."

"You've been _looking_ at girls an awful lot lately."

Obi-Wan blinked. He hadn't realized Khameir had caught on. "Did I?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Um." Shit. He knew why he had avoided this discussion, and he resented the fact that he had to address the issue at all. He narrowed his eyes. "Can't you guess?" he snapped.

"You're just another prick who can't keep it in his pants? I don't know."

Fucking arrogant son of a bitch who always covered the moral high ground in these matters, thanks to his damn history. Fucking drama queen. Obi-Wan grabbed Khameir's tunic and backed him into the brick wall, using his greater height as leverage.

"I've been pretty damn restrained so far. You're the one who won't give head and you're the one who won't ever bottom."

"Obi-Wan… you know that I _can't_."

"Yeah. Maybe so. Sometimes I think you're just a frigid control freak."

"Sometimes I think I were better off if that were the case." There was a flat, hard look in Khameir's eyes.

"Right." Obi-Wan let go and this time, he didn't even bother to get his things before finding a place to stay.

One month and an uncounted number of one-night-stands later, Obi-Wan was thoroughly disgusted with himself and called Khameir. It took nearly a week before he relented, but he finally did pick up Obi-Wan again.

* * *

4: two and a half years in

_There you are._ Khameir's mind voice was pale yellow with relief.

Obi-Wan turned his head and watched Khameir striding toward him across the vast plaza in front of the Temple. When Khameir finally sat down next to him, he went back to contemplating the Temple, this place he'd spent most of his life in.

"It didn't go too well, am I correct?"

Obi-Wan shrugged. "Garen wasn't there. A mission came up." And, after the initial disappointment, he'd been relieved. It had been difficult enough to find common ground with Siri and Bant. Their worries seemed so far away now – missions, classes and Temple gossip – and he was sure his must have seemed outlandish and petty to them – revamping the Falcon and his continued quest to get Khameir to settle down somewhere.

"Not what you expected?"

"They just don't get it. How important you are to me, I mean."

"There's a big but lurking somewhere in the background," Khameir observed warily.

"Not quite as dense as usual today, huh?"

The comment had the desired effect and made Khameir retreat from their connection. He crossed his arms and hunched just a little, and he looked so small suddenly, Obi-Wan almost felt sorry.

"We needn't have left," he said by way of explanation. "If you hadn't been so fucking obvious that one time, nobody would have found out."

"Bant would have caught on after a while," Khameir objected.

"I don't think so." He'd just talked to her, after all, and she'd admitted she'd never have pegged him as bisexual.

"If you say so."

They were silent for a while.

"What do you want from me?" Khameir asked eventually.

"You practically forced me into leaving. And now we're hunting pirates. We're really making a difference here."

"I can't say I didn't have selfish motives back then. But you were suffering just as much."

"Right."

"But if you think you'd be happier with the Jedi, I won't hold you back. Matters of great import are waiting for you, obviously." Khameir rose and Obi-Wan followed suit.

"More important things than the color of our fucking bedroom, yes."

"Indeed. Well. I'll come visit you sometime." Khameir spun around and stalked off. Obi-Wan blinked, startled. Whatever the plan had been, he had shot it to hell completely.

When he made it to the hangar, the Falcon wasn't there anymore, so he went back to the Temple and asked for a comm line. Khameir didn't answer for two days, but then he did return to pick him up.


End file.
